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  • Writer's pictureLisa Archilla

When I Really Need To Tell You Something, It's Because I Really Need To Hear It

Updated: Aug 17, 2022

Sometimes, more than I’d like, I have this super focused mindset that wants to fix people I care about. I diagnose their problem and mentally prescribe the solution.

I spend a lot of time laying out my case. In the shower, while I’m driving. Rehearsing my strategy. Imagining how profound my comments will be.

I look for moments to share my own life experiences in hopes it will be the key they are missing.

When I listen to a great podcast I think how meaningful it would be for them to hear it. When a movie deeply touches me I just know if only they could see it their life would change.

A lot of energy goes into these projects. They are, in fact, exhausting.

I’ve learned over time that when I feel this overwhelmingly compulsive need to say something to someone it’s usually because it’s not for them. It’s for me.

Surely it is more than coincidence that when I relax my mind and sit with the message I want so badly to impart that my heart melts with a hot love. The words brings light and clarity to a question I had asked, but whose answer I previously couldn’t hear. And sometimes they just comfort and soothe.

It is Universal Love. A Love so engaged it puts in my heart and mind the very thing I need at the very time I need it. That strong compulsion to share important information is because it is important – for me. It has nothing to do with my intended recipient.

The truth is I cannot possibly know what another person really needs. Or the best way for them to get there.

Maybe it would help people to know this thing I know. Maybe it will be me who channels the message someday. But what I have learned is that you can’t give something you don’t possess. When you try the gift becomes small and impotent, and offensive.

It’s a work in progress. I want to help people. That’s a good thing. But I will help them the most by paying attention to myself. When I receive the message reflected back to me it sinks in deeper and becomes part of who I am. Then it is truly something worth giving. Ironically, then I won’t feel the need to share it. If it’s needed it will flow naturally and elegantly at just the right time. It will be beautiful and powerful and real. And it will feel really, really good.

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